Ghosts Know What I Experienced
Author: Mo Chen Huan
Xi Jia called the nurse into the room to help Chen Tao change the needle and hang a new drip.
When had the nurse ever seen such an ineffable patient? The drip was hanging just fine, how could the needle get pulled by itself? While reinserting a new needle, the nurse nagged, fearing Chen Tao would pull the needle out again when he’s not thinking clearly.
Chen Tao was unable to explain himself. On the other hand, Xi Jia and the young charlatan left the sickroom together.1
At first, Xi Jia really thought this youth was a fake since he was saying there’s a ghost whenever he opened his mouth. But he didn’t expect that he really was a Celestial Master. After seeing the rune drawn on the sunglasses, Xi Jia understood the other party’s identity. He didn’t think this person would actually know Master Ye.
In the peaceful and quiet hospital corridor, the elegant, pretty young man walked in front. The charlatan followed three meters behind, trembling. When they reached the entrance to the garden, Xi Jia turned around and helplessly said, “Master Ye and I only met by chance. He’s a kind person and lent me his magic weapon to conceal my yin energy.”
When Pei Yu heard him, he didn’t believe it at all, “B-b-but…that’s the Wu Xiang Qing Li, why would he lend it to you?!” Hell King Ye’s a kind person? Hell King Ye would kindly lend his magic weapon to some stranger? Only a fool would believe it!
Upon hearing what was said, Xi Jia suddenly had a question, “This bronze die is very powerful?”
Pei Yu’s face fell, “Powerful? How could just the word ‘powerful’ be used to describe it. Wait a minute, do you even know who Hell King Ye is? Unless, you are not a part of the Xuanxue world? How could someone of the Xuanxue world not know of Hell King Ye.”
Xi Jia somewhat felt something was amiss. Thinking about it, it would be better to tell his situation to this seemingly unreliable Celestial Master. After Pei Yu listened to his words, he smiled, “Of course, there’s yang and yin energy in ordinary people. Your friend has very strong yang energy. No matter how strong your yin energy is, how strong can it possibly get?”
Xi Jia slightly frowned and took off Wu Xiang Qing Li that was around his neck. Yin energy soared towards the skies from the ground. An inexplicable cold wind rose from the feet up. The grass around the garden were blown flat, all of them turning towards Xi Jia’s direction.
This time, Pei Yu also felt something wasn’t quite right.
Xi Jia asked, “This……Master Pei, then can you now see my yin energy?”
Pei Yu waved his hand, hardly caring, “Wait a minute, I need to draw a rune to open the Yin Yang Eyes to help you look.”
Xi Jia was surprised, “That Master Ye didn’t need to draw a rune.”
Pei Yu stared, confidently declaring, “Who is Hell King Ye, who am I, how could I compare to him? He was born with the ability to see yin energy. In the entire Xuanxue world, there is only him!” Saying this, Pei Yu drew a rune on each lens of his sunglasses. While putting his sunglasses on again, he casually said, “How strong could your yin energy be, ah. At most, it would be more than normal people by a hundred times…thousand…times……”
The plentiful sounds of swearing and cursing made the other patients who were taking a walk in the garden to look over.
Xi Jia calmly hung Wu Xiang Qing Li back around his neck. Pei Yu took off his sunglasses and rushed over. His expression full of disbelief, staring at this delicate, clean, and fair face up and down, as if he wanted to see Xi Jia all over from the inside to outside.
“Im…Impossible! How could your yin energy be that heavy? I just used Yin Yang Eyes to see you. It was just a black ball. I can’t even see the clothes! Are you a human or a ghost…eh? There’s a body temperature, really is a human, ah?”
Xi Jia unhappily swatted away the hand that carelessly touched his arm, “You ghost hunting Celestial Masters still need to feel body temperature to determine if they’re a human or ghost?”
Pei Yu felt a little wronged, “We rely on yin energy to judge. But I have never seen a ghost with stronger yin energy than you……”
Xi Jia, “……”
Even though this Master Pei was very unreliable and neurotic, but Xi Jia had some understanding. When he saw Master Ye at his house’s front door, why would the other person’s expression be astonished. He himself was surprised because a stranger suddenly knocked on his door; And Master Ye with the natural born ability to see yin energy was probably surprised because he would never have thought that the door would be opened by a mass of black qi.
But after seeing such a rich amount of yin energy from Xi Jia, Pei Yu at least understood one thing, “The reason why Hell King Ye lent you Wu Xiang Qing Li was probably because no other magic weapon except Wu Xiang Qing Li would be able to hold back your yin energy.”
At the mention of this, Xi Jia’s brows knitted slightly, “Is this Wu Xiang Qing Li a very important magic weapon?”
Pei Yu timidly looked at the bronze die that was hanging on Xi Jia’s neck with a guilty conscience. Not giving a direct answer, he instead asked, “Do you have WeChat?”
Xi Jia stared blankly, “WeChat?”
“In this day and age, who still doesn’t have a WeChat, ah. Come, come, come, you scan my WeChat. I’ll recommend an official account for you. You’ll understand once you look at it.”
The young charlatan suddenly pulled out an apple phone from behind his butt, quite skillfully unlocked it, and opened WeChat.
In just a few short days of effort, after not seeing a Celestial Master after 19 years, Xi Jia once again saw a ghost catching Celestial Master, not to mention suddenly seeing two. Among them, one was a Celestial Master that even had a WeChat. He skeptically added Pei Yu to his friends list. Very quickly, Pei Yu forwarded him the official account.
“……Ghosts Know What I Experienced?”
Pei Yu, “You, quickly follow, hurry it up.”
Xi Jia looked at the profile picture of a ghastly female ghost on the screen. Hesitating for a moment, he still pressed the follow button.
『Fellow Daoist, finally you are here! You are welcome to follow the Official Account of “Ghosts Know What I Experienced.” Ghosts know, I know, everything you don’t know, look at us, you all will know! Follow now and you can also receive a modou, produced by Tian Gong Pavilion, your trust guaranteed.』2
Xi Jia, “……”
Pei Yu hastily opened the “Tian Gong Rankings” link under the official account. Next, a WeChat article link appeared on Xi Jia’s cell phone screen. The title of the article was 《The 316th Complete List of the Tian Gong Rankings》, and the picture used for the article turned out to be the Wu Xiang Qing Li that was currently hanging on his neck!
Pei Yu urged, “Did you become stupid? Open it, ah. I gave you the latest Tian Gong Rankings.”
Xi Jia turned to look at him, “……You ghost catching Celestial Masters know how to play with WeChat?”
Pei Yu asked, “Why can’t we play with WeChat? Eh, why aren’t you saying anything again?”
Xi Jia was expressionless, “I need some time…to reshape my worldview.”
After waiting for Xi Jia to accept “this group of particularly modern ghost catching Celestial Masters” through self-hypnosis, he tapped open the article of the Tian Gong Rankings. Once opened, the first thing he saw was first place in large blood red characters—
『Wu Xiang Qing Li』
The entire post was not much different from most official account posts: font size 14, line space 1.5x, industry rules, and beautiful typesetting. It also used a lot of separating marks and small grey characters to note. It was like it came from the hands of an experienced marketing master.
He flipped through the names that were arranged line by line from the beginning to the end of the article. Xi Jia only recognized the first name, “Wu Xiang Qing Li.” The rest were all sorts of strange swords, spears, and halberds that he had never heard of before. But obviously, in this article, only Wu Xiang Qing Li, the one in first place, used bright and glaring, large blood red characters. It especially also had dripping blood horror special effects. The names of the other magic weapons were only written in black font.
Pei Yu swallowed a mouthful of saliva. He weakly looked at Wu Xiang Qing Li on Xi Jia’s neck while carefully pointing towards the screen, “Tian Gong Rankings is the ranking of our Xuanxue world’s magic weapons. The ranking was made by the professionals among Tian Gong Pavilion’s fellow daoists. Wu Xiang Qing Li was ranked first 97 times in a row. Look at those bloody big words, what do you say, isn’t it horrifying?”
Xi Jia, “……”
His mind was full of Wu Xiang Qing Li’s tsundere appearance of rolling around last night. How could he connect it with the peerless magic weapon that killed ghosts without blinking?
But, there were some things that he felt was strange, “If Wu Xiang Qing Li is really that powerful, why did Master Ye lend it to me?”
Pei Yu didn’t even think about it, “Didn’t I say it earlier? Because only Wu Xiang Qing Li could suppress your yin energy.”
Xi Jia closed his eyes, his expression tranquil, “Why does he so fervently care about my matter?”
“That’s because he’s Hell King Ye.”
Xi Jia stared blankly.
Pei Yu slapped his thigh, “You’ll understand once you look at this.”
As soon as his voice fell, Xi Jia suddenly widened his eyes, looking at the golden subtitles that suddenly swam across his eyes. The golden subtitle didn’t exist on the phone screen, it was actually completely suspended in midair!
The sun already set under the earth. Under the gentle, hazy moonlight, Xi Jia and Pei Yu already walked to a corner of the garden. Nobody noticed the abnormality on their side. And nobody knew, a socialist proper youth with a well-rounded development in intelligence, fitness, and the arts repeatedly broke someone’s world views today.
After a long time, Xi Jia’s lips opened and closed, “……this is also a post you guys sent out using the WeChat official account?” When did 10cent have this ability? Unless Ma Huatong was also actually a figure from the Xuanxue world?!3
Pei Yu shook his head, “No, no, no. It’s because the modou’s update speed is too fast. Of course, you can’t send it on “Ghosts Know.” It can only be displayed using modou, live updates. I remember that if you follow the official account recently, I think they will send a modou. Didn’t you see when you just followed? The people of Tian Gong Pavilion will send one to you through express delivery. This is a modou.”
Xi Jia looked down at the dark strange tool in Pei Yu’s hand.
This strange object strikingly resembled a wupeng boat.4 Its entire body was black. There was a small gear at the front, and behind the gear was a small bowl. Inside the small bowl was packed full of a gold colored powder. At this moment, the gear was lightly turning.5 The powder was like tiny stars, flying bit by bit into the air and forming the golden text suspended in midair.
Xi Jia stared at the black modou in Pei Yu’s hand. Pei Yu proudly pointed at the golden text in the air, “Can you see it? This month, I’m ranked seventh. The younger generation of the Xuanxue world has more than 10,000 people, and I’m ranked seventh.”
Xi Jia didn’t praise this off-key Celestial Master. He looked at the ranking in front of Pei Yu. Although the names were suspended together in the air, they were like a histogram. The higher the ranking, the higher the name floated. When looking at Pei Yu’s name, Xi Jia still had to lower his head. When looking at the name at the very front, he was already leveled with a name.
At one side, Pei Yu was still happily laughing while staring at his own name, having difficulty hiding his smug expression. Xi Jia carefully looked at the two characters, “Nan Yi.” After looking for a long time, he turned his head to ask, “How come I don’t see Master Ye?”
Pei Yu directly pointed towards the sky.
Xi Jia followed the direction of his finger in doubt.
Pei Yu said, “See it yet? Hell King Ye is right there.”
Xi Jia intently looked, but still couldn’t see where the name was.
Pei Yu pressed, “It’s right here, ah. Modou Rankings is based according to each person’s ghost kill score for the month. The more ghosts one kills, the higher the ranking. The name would also float higher. You look carefully, right there. Isn’t there a little golden point in the sky? That is Hell King Ye’s name!”
He only saw it in the vast open night sky, between the crescent moon and stars. There was a dazzling gold star, twinkling with brilliance.
Xi Jia, “……”
Don’t you dare point at a star and say that that’s their name!
The Author has something to say:
Wu Xiang Qing Li: Aren’t I awesome? (≖ ‿ ≖)✧
The Translator has something to say: *looks at the emoticon* Where have I seen—
1 神棍 fake mystic – previous used fake mystic because it showed his kind of profession. But decided to use charlatan as his official nickname because…well he’s a babbler 😂 and it’s one word. ↵
2 墨斗 Modou: carpenter’s straight line marker…it’s a mouthful so leaving it in pinyin. ↵
3 WeChat/10cent/Ma Huatong: WeChat is a social media platform/app with messaging, games, and payment options. WeChat which is under Tencent, Ma Huateng is the CEO. The names have been censored. ↵
4 Wupeng boat: a Chinese traditional boat with an awning that is typically black. (I don’t know when it happened, but the URL of the picture stayed the same but changed to a dragon boat race…definitely not it. It’s been fixed now). ↵
5 Ancient modou: the modou used is modeled after an ancient one. I also found a boat shaped one. ↵